butts and ash.

as hazy as butts and ash inside a glass container.

If that is the so-called goodbye.

thoughts on leaving someone behind and on leaving someone that is leaving.

you would feel closer to someone you left behind and is staying home. because when you think of that person, you can imagine him walking on the streets you used to walk, bumping into people you used to bumped into with.

when you left someone who ain't staying home, you won't be able to imagine the streets he is walking, people he is meeting.

but, you know, in whatever season it is, the Summer wind would always be your song.

Chuck's pact.

i'll see you somewhere around the world.

whether that would be in watching the pyramids of Egypt.

or running and being kids again playing in a Disneyland wherever.

or back home.
under the southern sunshine.
where we'd be having 2 packs of cigar while filling the night with memories, plans and smoke.

i miss you already.
even when i know that i'd be seeing you in a week. you'll be even staying with me in my cramped room before that day that i'll be watching your back disappear into the departure area.

don't forget to extend my regards to Her Royal Highness.

all rides come to a halt.

the first ride is a single eternal loop. goes around smoothly. slowly. fast at some point. with chances to talk. it pauses mid-air. giving you that euphoria for being on top and get to see everything from above. touch the clouds. reach for the heavens. then it resumes to that smooth circle. panic and hesitation come as each gondola rotates. yes, conversations can proceed. and you are brought to traverse that same loop again. and again. after of what seemed to be an eternity you are finally put to a stop. you alight. look back. walk away and not feel anything.

the second ride is made of several loops. excited. you're being pulled to the top of an incline to be let gone. you shout, panic as you are brought to a free fall. and you realize that you seem to be on top of your lungs but there's no voice coming from you. as you come across the loops. you just close your eyes as the ride becomes rough. you hold on to yourself as you feel you can be thrown out anytime. and everything slows down. you breathe. open your eyes. come face to face with the heavens. you are coming up the incline. and the locks tick. you are bound to experience the ride all over again. this time. with your back turned. swoosh. and an abrupt halt. you alight. shout. laugh. or regret. no looking back. only debating whether you'll ride it again later that day. or not dare to be on it again before the park closes with fireworks.

whichever. it is just a matter of which scares you the most. you can only like one better than the other. but, maybe love neither.

the first one scares me. when i think that it should be more comfortable and ideal. safer and in control.