missing you stanger.

at some point in our lives, we miss some- greatly. usually it's -one or -thing.

i miss UP. i am missing that day i danced in the rain and the chill that the banana shake sent through my nerves after. i miss running the stairs as to not get late for a class. i miss the faces i come across with in the corridors. much more, the faces i walk with, i sat with during lunchtime. i miss strutting down Katipunan. i miss closing the Starbucks there at 3am. ordering my third beverage upon waking up. walking out for a smoke or two. listening to a conversation or the noise that the people i see there everynight make. they're all familiar. but, remained to be strangers.

i am missing the familiar.

your face is one that i've accidentally learned to memorized by heart. but, as i imagine how weak those beautiful eyes make me and how hurt i feel as i trace that nose down to those lips, you are becoming just as a stranger as they were.

but, i am missing you stranger. so much that it hurts that even in my daydreams you remain to be...

a stranger.

i could use a smoke.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do.

- What Hurts the Most, BoyceAvenue

and all they could do is to laugh at me.

going out today.

i am going out later today.

i wanna escape the noise from the construction of my brother's nipa hut tambayan. i am opposing it. all the hammering and pounding sound noisy nights to drunk people in the morning and cigarette butts, spilled alcohol and tuna flakes added for me to clean everyday. and with how easy my parents succumbed to that idea, makes me think that they don't mean it when they say that am being irresponsible for asking them money for my cup of coffee. plus, the fuss that they are all making of it is making me out of plce.

right now.

i wanna cry.


because...