my pre-20+++

At 23, I am at the stage that has just started getting a life.

When, all my college friends had gotten over school, I was practically left all by myself. Not that we declared FO, it’s just that we had to go on with our own lives not seeing each other everyday like we used to. (It was the same when I graduated from high school when I chose to be somewhere entirely new, and it was by default that I would be starting to gain friends.) I started with so less human interaction. Two hours on TTh’s were the only time I spent outside my place and in that 2 hours, I’d survived with not talking to anybody, and I frittered the rest of the week locked inside my room. And having no outlet for that my not-so-social social nature, I sought refuge over the internet, and eventually found myself in the comfort of having a virtual social life.

I added people in my Facebook account. Every cute guy I get bumped with, actually. Most of them turned out to be not-English-talking people. So I considered having crash-courses in French. Others, I added for being in countries and cities that I’d love to be someday. Still, they had to be goodlooking as my minimum requirement. It was all about taking chances on the affinity of Western people with Asians. Your network could grow real faster if you would only allow it. But, the longer I had let it flow and grow; I noticed that I was moving in on a closed loop. I realized that my facebook friends were mostly gays and we all seemed to be linked with each other. It was still a good thing, not that I really cared. I interacted with most of them in ways made possible by the site’s features. I had my share of “virtual relationships”. But, in the long run, it was hard to keep up. The site requires much of RAM usage, not to mention that the different time zones and the idea of a long-distance relationship is simply hard to work out.

So I resorted to blogging. It’s a healthy way of sharing everything. I don’t have much of readers following me, but, it was less of a pressure without having to impress a particular person. There’s no need to keep up with time zones. No need to bother with future plans that weren’t even tangible in any sense. I spent lots of time tweaking and flicking the layout more than the entries. Until, I settled with a blue-black theme. It gave that full-effect. And it is as well apt with the image that I was wishing to convey --- “boyish”. The thought of marshmallow-colors is already redundant. With keeping a blog, there’s nothing really social about it, but you content yourself by just sharing your thoughts and feelings. I tried, or dared, as the more exact term, to be honest as I could but, I failed at some point. Maybe, there are things better left unsaid, so we leave some details to ourselves. Or, some things won’t affect the entirety of the whole entry if left secret. I could have settled to this. After all, writing is one thing that I really love to do. Until, I enjoyed chatting.